You don’t realize how much eating plays a part in your life until you don’t have the option to eat, then you all you have is the crap leftover. I’m coming to realize that I’ve been a chronic emotional over-eater my entire life, and now I’m trying to relearn how to deal with those everyday feelings without turning to food. The no-eating part of this fast is easy at this point, now it seems to be becoming more of a mental challenge.
If I have to put a feeling to the past couple of days, it would be disappointment. There have been a lot of other feelings as well, elation while working out at the gym (I was able to sustain a 6.0 mph pace longer than ever before!) happiness at racing around the yard with Logan and Evan, joy at learning some fantastic news about one of my cousins, thankfulness and gratitude at having such a supportive and sweet husband. I am in no way depressed, just in a bit of a rut.
All the disappointments I’ve had are all little ones, but because I can no longer go to food as a coping mechanism, they seem to be getting exaggerated in my head. I’m disappointed that my weight loss is slowing down. I know logically that this will happen, since the smaller I get, the less the number on the scale will go down, even if the percentage of weight loss is the same. I know it is slowing down because I am building more muscle, while losing fat. Logically, I know all these things, but I still feel disappointed when that number on the scale is not as “great” as I think it should be.
I’m disappointed that all this weight loss doesn’t seem to be showing as well on me as it does for Rob. I’m a bit jealous of the fact that EVERYONE talks and compliments Rob on doing such a good job, wants to know what his secret is, talks about his determination, tells me how great he is looking. Gosh, I’m reading that back to myself now, and I sound like such a cranky brat, but I still feel it!
We were planning a trip to Naples to visit some of our closest friends, one who is currently going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. I’ve been feeling the urge to see her since we found out a couple of weeks ago, and Rob and I were able to schedule a quick visit this Sunday, which I was really looking forward to. It turns out that Rob has a function he must go to for work, one that had been scheduled for over a month now, but we completely forgot about it. Now it will be at least another two weeks until we can schedule another trip, and of course, (you guessed it)…I’m disappointed!
Trying to find a new way to cope is difficult, and some things work better than others. Food has always been my go-to fix, but that won’t work anymore. So instead, I’m going to spend a little of time reading outside in the sun today, since that always gets me in a better mood. I’m planning on taking the crazies to a playground after Logan gets out of school. After all, how can you be a grump when listening to children laughing? And since Evan is (finally) over his irrational fear of the daycare at the gym, I’m going to get a good sweat on, and work on legs today. I’m sure by tomorrow, I’ll be feeling a lot better, even if I won’t be able to walk correctly! (haha)
Day 16 (woo hoo!)
Rob made the best juice this morning. I know I use that term a lot, but seriously, this was delicious! He could tell I was grumpy, so he took the initiative and whipped this bad boy up before I could get any pictures of him juicing. I found some Ugli fruit on the dollar rack at the market and was curious to try them. Turns out they are a lot better than they look. Ugli fruits are a mix between grapefruit, tangerine, and orange, and they have a TON of juice in them.
Ugli, Grapefruit, Pineapple and Carrot (4 servings)
3 ugli fruit
1 ruby grapefruit
12 large carrots
2 inches fresh ginger
And for the green juice today, I decided to stick with what I know is good…
Mean Green (2 servings)
16 kale leaves
8 celery stalks
2 inches fresh ginger
I prepped enough veggies to double the recipe, but knew it was going to be making a lot more than that.
Ended up being enough for all the rest of our juices, at least 6 servings worth. I love this juice…it’s hearty, flavorful, and just the right mix of sweet and tart.
The mooch is asleep, so I’m going to take advantage and get lost in a book, while enjoying a big glass of Mean Green. Till tomorrow!