There is a calm that has come over me.  I can feel it when the crazies are acting, well… crazy, or when a car cuts me off in my lane, and when the grocery store bag boy insists on using one bag per each itty bitty item.  All these things would usually result in me yelling, or quietly seething, or just getting stressed out.  I’ve always been a bit of a control freak, getting upset when things don’t go according to plan, but that feeling seems to have been replaced by acceptance.  My first reaction isn’t to get annoyed or stressed, but rather to (quite happily) go with the flow, and see what happens.  That doesn’t mean that I float around all day in a happy daze like a modern day hippie, but I’ve come to accept that there are things I have absolutely no control over, and that that’s okay.

I don’t have control over what other people do or think, or even how my children chose to act.  For instance, Evan was horrible last night.  While he usually wakes up once during the night for a quick bottle, he was up last night from 2:30a-4:45.  Every 30 minutes he would wake up SCREAMING, and would take another 20 minutes of snuggles and rocking to get sleepy again.  I didn’t know what was going on, and usually I would get mad and frustrated, but I didn’t feel those familiar feelings.  Instead, I just got up and held my baby.  I knew that I didn’t have control over how he felt, and his screaming made it pretty obvious that he was feeling like crap.  I was able to calm him down and help him to relax, which in turn helped him to get more comfortable (turned out he had a LOT of gas) and fall asleep.  If I was frustrated or impatient with him, I’m sure the results would have been different.

I don’t know exactly why I have this feeling of calm and acceptance now.  It’s probably attributed to a bunch of different things.  I’ve never really felt in control of my weight or health, so I took out that frustration by trying to control everything else.  But now that I’m in control of my mind and body, the other things aren’t as important.  I know that as long as I put a variety of good food into my body and give it the nutrients it needs along with the activity it craves, the number on the scale is going to reflect that.  And I’m trying not to read too much into that number, because I accept that there will be bigger loss days than other (even the occasional gaining days) but the trend always stays the same.  Acceptance of what will happen, because I know I’m laying the framework where only good can happen.

I’m feeling very solid going into day 13.  After having a bad night, Rob was kind enough to let me sleep in this morning.  He woke up with Logan, fed and dressed him for school, and took him in.  I woke up feeling surprisingly well rested after a night of interrupted sleep, and made our juices while Rob went to the gym before work.  Evan was so tired from a bad night of sleep that he didn’t wake up until 9am, which gave me a lot of time to wash, cut and assemble all the ingredients for juicing.

This morning I wanted a staple for breakfast…apple and carrot.  I had a few oranges that needed to be used up, so I threw those in the juice as well.

Orange, Apple and Carrot Juice (4 servings)

3 oranges

4 apples

12 large carrots


You can’t go wrong with this juice.  The apples are so sweet and filling and the carrots have SO much juice in them, that I naturally turn to this as a perfect way to start (and end) the day.

The green juice today is new to this fast, but packed (literally) with a ton of green veggies.  Look at all that produce!  I almost couldn’t get all of it in the camera frame:


Fresh, organic and local kale, cucumbers and lemons (thanks to Jessica’s Farmstand) are the shining stars in this juice.

Green Lemonade (2 servings)

2 apples

4 handfuls of spinach

16 kale leaves

1 cucumber

4 celery stalks

2 lemons

I lied…the celery really shines in this juice as well.  It tastes just like lemonade, but without all the white sugar of traditional lemonade from the store.

Rob's juice bounty for the day
Rob’s juice bounty for the day

I gave Evan a taste of this juice, and the mooch kept coming back for more, so I got him his own sippy cup.  Can’t complain about that too much since I love the fact that my kids have some of our juice every day.  Today is a beautiful day, and I’m looking forward to Logan getting out of school so we can soak up the sun together.  Every day this gets a little bit easier, the food gets a little less tempting, and it feels as though my life is getting brighter and clearer.  I’m accepting where I am right now in my life, but am so optimistic of the future.  Till tomorrow…


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